For a long time I struggled
to understand what my inner life or soul-life is about. Part of the challenge
was setting aside the time to cultivate and tend to my interior life. My usual routine
of praying the Daily Office and attending Sunday services was just not enough;
I needed time to be engaged by God in silence. But part of me feared the
unknown and was afraid to take risks.
There came a time, however,
when God’s invitation to “come and see” became more persistent and louder, and I
was no longer able to ignore it. So I mustered the courage I needed to accept
the invitation. And that is how I came to enter my inner life--taking one
little step at a time.
In the mid-90’s I
participated in a facilitators training conference on a program called Women of
Vision, a leadership curriculum that was developed by women in the Episcopal
Church to raise women leaders in the church (and beyond) and to affirm their
gifts. One of the gifts I received from this training is the question “WHAT
STANDS OUT FOR YOU?” From that time on this question has become a very
practical tool for reflection. It has become my regular practice to ask myself
this question.
I have been making literal
and mental notes of words and quotes that jump out from my readings or sermons
I hear from others; of thoughts and feelings that arise from activities like
gardening, knitting and cooking; and, images that arise in my dreams and
elsewhere. I have come to see and understand these occasions as invitations
from God to look within. I have found a home for these thoughts, feelings, and
images in my heart. And I have found that I may return to them there from time
to time. Surprisingly, each time I turn within in this way, I discover how my
life has changed and in so changing, these thoughts, feelings, and images reveal
new and deeper meaning. I become aware of the differences they have made and
continue to make in the way that I relate with God, others, myself and the rest
of creation.
- The Rev. Harriet Kollin
