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| Holy Cross Monastery in spring |
As we approach our annual Lenten Retreat to Holy Cross Monastery in West Park, New York, I would like to share my feelings about this
special place with the congregation. Holy Cross, for me, is what the Celts call a “thin place,” that is a
place where God is especially accessible.
Here is my story…
In 1988, as a depressed and strung-out college junior I had
a dream one night about Holy Cross
Monastery based on a vague memory from a childhood visit. Though I
was studying religion at the time I had abandoned the church and scoffed at
faith. The day after this vivid dream, I called my mother and described the
dream to her. She identified it
immediately as Holy Cross. I asked her
to book me a room for spring break that year leaving her completely
baffled.
I flew home to New Jersey between terms, took New Jersey
Transit to New York and Metro North to Poughkeepsie, where a monk met me at the
train station. Armed with a stack of
books to defend myself against religion I set up camp in a room on the third
floor. For some reason, however, I attended every worship service.
Whether it was Matins, Vespers, Prime, or Compline, I always
sat in the back row of the chapel, body turned resolutely away from the
brothers, chagrined by all the religiousness and feeling self-righteous and
"too smart for all this."
To the surprise of the monks and myself, on my last day, I
went up for the Eucharistic around the altar. Like St. Martin's, the community
gathers around the table for the celebration of the Lord’s Supper. At the passing of the peace I was
overcome by God's loving presence and the divine desire to receive me. I
sobbed through the Eucharistic Prayer as every word rang clear as a bell in my
heart and mind. The mental image of a
sharp, clean, silver needle passing a slender thread through the words and
through my heart carried me through the emotionally wrenching moment. With God’s gentle, nurturing love overwhelming my resistance, my healing had begun.
After the dismissal, I bolted down to the Hudson and cried
for an hour or so before a brother found me and got me to my train on time.
Holy Cross will forever be for me the place where God began
to knit me back together again. I return
there as often as I can because the grace I receive there helps me to grow
deeper into the mystery of God. It is a
place where God can polish my soul so it can glow with God’s light.
I hope you will consider attending our retreat in
March. Perhaps you can give this retreat
as a gift to your spouse. Take the kids
for the weekend and give your beloved the chance for some renewal. Ask your teenage son or daughter – or
college-aged child – if they would like to attend. They are most welcome. Find more information on the Wellspring page of StMartinEC.org.
- The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
