Thank God for Ear Worms

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Some people sing in the shower. I confess that I sing in the car.

When I sing along with the car radio, my son Tim likes to ask me, “Who sings this song?”

“Bob Dylan,” I answer.

“Let’s keep it that way,” responds Tim.

I laugh and, much to his chagrin, I keep on singing.

Even worse for my children is when my wife and I both sing along to songs we love from the 70s. We know every word of every AM radio hit of that decadent decade. Queen, Frampton, Bee Gees, the Spinners, Elton John, Fleetwood Mac, and Springsteen; we know every word, chord change, tempo change, and grunt. Never did we study or even glance at the lyrics. Yet we know every word.

This is the power of music. It is the same reason that School House Rock engraved the Preamble of the Constitution in my memory forever. Music is the greatest teaching device ever gifted to us by God. At church, our hymns serve to praise God and they also serve to form us, imprint in us the story of God’s love and grace. Hymns are marvelous delivery devices for knowledge of God, that, if we are lucky, stick with us through every stage of life.

Church attendance for my children was non-negotiable for just this reason. My wife and I wanted them to stew in the rich broth of hymnody and prayer so it would be there when they need it. More about God was communicated to them by hymn singing and choir anthems than any argument or testimony we had at home.

Our work with our children is to expose them to what we know is good food so they develop a taste for it that outlasts their love of mac and cheese. Baptism is the first step in the pickling process, where the new life of grace infuses their lives, and ours, transforming us from cucumber to pickle across a lifetime of growth. Be sure to immerse yourself and your family in regular baths of great hymnody and prayer so we will all be able to sing along with the angels and archangels when the time comes.

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

Check out these opportunities this Advent season to immerse yourself and your family in song. Don't forget to share them with your friends, too!

Carol Sing - 9:15 a.m. Sunday, December 16

Messiah Sing Along - 7:00 p.m. Wednesday, December 19

Read Erik Meyer's blog about Advent Hymns here

Christmas Worship - visit StMartinEC.org/christmas for the full schedule

So, my child is an atheist…Now what?

Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

So, your child has declared that they are an atheist. What do you do? Before you begin, remember the first words of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “Don’t panic!” Why not panic? For many reasons including; 1. The happy news that your child is thinking about such matters in the first place, 2. The fact that you are not the first or only parent to experience this challenge, and, 3. The opportunity to engage your child in an ongoing conversation.

What I most often say in these conversations is simple, “I don’t believe in that god either.” The god our children reject is often a god worth rejecting. Like garbage in a sandbox, our kids pick up notions of god that have nothing to do with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Secular culture and the culturally dominant strands of Christianity communicate a dominating, controlling, puppeteer God who is cruel, judgmental, and capricious.

The first step is to ask for their objections, take those objections seriously, and share how you respond to such challenges in your faith. In my household we allowed for atheism as long as it was not ignorant atheism. My kids were required to put in the effort and engage the subject. I would always say, “I will respect your position when you can keep up with me in a discussion.”

For example, I will ask my children: “Where did you get that idea about God?” “Does God have to be that way?” Then I will share that I have struggled with these objections too and here is where I came out. My child would ask, “Why does God allow suffering?” Excellent question is the immediate answer. Then you might say, “How might you design a different world? What would that be like?” The most important follow up question is this, “Are any of those forms of suffering more powerful than love?” And then, “What if God wants that world you designed too?”

We believe in a God who took the place of the victims of this world, the position of the most powerless, and felt the suffering of oppression, rejection, torture, and execution. Our God does not stand aloof from suffering but tries to remedy it from the inside through always faithful, never failing, unbreakable love. Our God cries out against the unjust suffering and pain of human self-destruction because our God feels it too. Our God does not impose this suffering. God gave us a good creation that a long history of abuse has made toxic and harmful to human flourishing. Our God has even experienced death and turned it into a pathway for renewed life. Everything we experience as an enemy of life our God has redeemed.

That is a long answer and not totally appropriate for kids. However, it is very important that parents and grandparents show the example of educating their faith if they wish to guide their children. Which leads to a crucial point; you are the adult and you are smarter than your child. You have more life experience. You can absorb their rejection of things you hold dear if you remember that you are helping this child mature and they have a long way to go.

It only feels like rejection of you because it is. Our kids need to reject us and betray us to get the separation necessary for individuation. Trust that they will come back and lay the seeds of that return by engaging them in a gentle, open spirit now. Faith is a gift from God. We cannot control its transmission, but we can give our children the formation they need to know the true God - and avoid the false gods - when the time is right.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

For the beauty of the earth, for the beauty of the skies, 

for the love which from our birth over and around us lies,

Christ our God, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

We know that not everything about Thanksgiving, or everything about this moment in your life may feel like something to be grateful for. Yet, in everything there is something to find thanks for. The sun in the morning. A functioning heating system. The multicolored leaves. God's promises to be with us through whatever our trials. The freedom Jesus offers us in letting go of who we think we should be, in order to simply be Christ's followers, God's children. A community of faith to support us and remind us of who we are in Christ.

As you approach whatever Thanksgiving plans you have - be it dinner with family, friends, or heading to the Thanksgiving feast at this month's SUPPER at Christ Church and St. Michael's on Saturday at 3 p.m. - here are some prayer resources for your day:

A General Thanksgiving
(Book of Common prayer, page 836 - or online at BCPonline.org)

Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have

done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole

creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,

and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for

the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best

efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy

and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures

that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the

truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast

obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying,

through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life

again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and

make him known; and through him, at all times and in all

places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.

A Litany of Thanksgiving
(Book of Common prayer, pages 836-837, or online at BCPonline.org)

Let us give thanks to God our Father for all his gifts so

freely bestowed upon us.

For the beauty and wonder of your creation, in earth and

sky and sea.

We thank you, Lord.

For all that is gracious in the lives of men and women,

revealing the image of Christ,

We thank you, Lord.

For our daily food and drink, our homes and families, and

our friends,

We thank you, Lord.

For minds to think, and hearts to love, and hands to serve,

We thank you, Lord.

For health and strength to work, and leisure to rest and play,

We thank you, Lord.

For the brave and courageous, who are patient in suffering

and faithful in adversity,

We thank you, Lord.

For all valiant seekers after truth, liberty, and justice,

We thank you, Lord.

For the communion of saints, in all times and places,

We thank you, Lord.

Above all, we give you thanks for the great mercies and

promises given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord;

To him be praise and glory, with you, O Father, and the

Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

Additional resources

While these two resources are taken from websites geared toward those who have children in their lives, they are good resources even if you are celebrating among only adults.

42 Bible Verses About Thankfulness

Gratitude Journal Prompts for the Whole Year

For each perfect gift of thine to the world so freely given,

faith and hope and love divine, peace on earth and joy in heaven,

Christ our God, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise.

The pastoral staff at St. Martin's is here for you in both times of gratitude and times of challenge. Please call 215.247.7466 to make an appointment.

God's blessings be with you this Thanksgiving!

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector