Exhausting Our Lord

Text in graphic: This Week in the Rector's Note: Exhausting our Lord. 10.3.2019.
Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Episcopal
"Jesus must find me exhausting."
Graphic: Photograph of a statue of a woman, possibly Mary the Mother of God,
with her head down and resting on her left hand, with fingers curled under.
The stone statue appears to be attached to a stone building - there are bare tree
branches in the distance in the top right of the image. the stone is considerably
covered with moss on the top of the veiled head and the hand.

Jesus must find me exhausting.
This thought occurred to me while at prayer during my vacation. Here I was listing off all my needs, sharing my sorrows and hurts, praying for my long list of friends and family in need, and begging for guidance, serenity, wisdom, courage, and every other virtue I lack, when I suddenly had tremendous sympathy for Jesus! What would it be like to be bombarded by this catalogue of woes daily by millions of people?

My instant reflex was to mutter an apology to Jesus for bothering him so much. Recognizing my neurotic guilt, I had a good laugh at myself and my stinking thinking and then - by God’s grace - I returned to awe and admiration for Jesus. How much love does it take to have enough love for everyone? I struggle to be adequately loving day in and day out to my little family of four. We are talking about a whole other scale of love here.

That is a huge relief for me and, I hope, for you. While I want always to grow in love as God’s grace nurtures me into “the full stature of Christ,” I need to admit that the world is too big and too demanding for even the highest capacity my loving will ever reach. What the world needs is the love of Jesus direct from him. The best I can do is to hopefully give folks a glimpse of that surpassing, all encompassing love in fragmentary form.
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” sang Burt Bacharach and he was so right. What we realize as we age and grow in wisdom through the crucible of marriage, parenting, family life, community life, friendship, and work is that we need a source of love beyond ourselves if we are going to do our part of that loving.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Timber, Awe, and Wonder

"...the awe and wonder come from a deep intuition of the sacred gift of the tree."
Photo taken in the woods. There is bright green ground cover. One tall, thick,
moss-covered tree stands in the foreground, lit from the back and right side
by the sun rising through the trees at a distance to the right. The photo is
awash in the greens and pale yellows of spring or early summer.

On vacation I care for a small forest in the Maine woods. My idea of a perfect vacation day is forestry in the morning and books in a hammock in the afternoon. My favorite tool is my Stihl MS 271 chainsaw, 50cc’s of throbbing, purring power for felling and processing trees destined for our wood stove.  

Holding a chainsaw calms me. The growl of the engine muffled through ear protection, the vibrations running up through my hands and arms, the smell of fresh, tart sawdust kicking off the chain onto my jeans - focus my scattered mind and engulf me into the moment.  

When an 80 foot tree that is two-and-a-half feet thick is almost fully severed and just on the edge of toppling, time freezes and my ears perk up for the cracking of wood that presages the fall. Will it go the direction I intend or will it totter toward me? The thrill is electric and the shout of, “Timber!” is part relief and part triumph when its massive bulk plummets away from me.  

The tree thunders to the ground and strikes the earth like a massive drumstick on a bass drum. “Wump” is part noise and part feeling in my feet. My response is awe and wonder. I am not impressed by the act of felling the tree. No, the awe and wonder come from a deep intuition of the sacred gift of the tree.

For one hundred years or more that tree was growing and processing sunlight, rain, and soil into a massive stalk of wood fiber and generation after generations of leaves and seeds. From a sapling it developed into a tower of grace and beauty that sheltered the birds and squirrels and insects. The storms it witnessed. The winter weight of snow it bore. The stories if could tell.  

Sacred. The sacred gift calls out a prayer. The sacred gift calls out awe and wonder and in turn the prayer and these feelings change forever how we walk on the earth. Because we know she is sacred.

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

A Pond in the Sand

"The spiritual life is one of opening ourselves so the waters of God's grace can fill us."

Trips to the Jersey Shore with my friends Dan and Rick were a summer highlight when I was a child. Between bouts of body surfing, we would often spend hours constructing elaborate sand castles just inside the high tide line. Our castles had towers, walls, moats, and ponds.

Spreading our hands in the wet sand we would make a hole that would fill with water and make a little pond until the tide would return and engulf it.

This image captivates me. The spiritual life is one of opening ourselves so the waters of God’s grace can fill us. The water of grace is all around us all the time, but in our usual closed off state it does not fill us. Through prayer, worship, study, service, and fellowship we collaborate with Jesus who carved out the open space we now are able to share.

Imagine in our life of prayer that we are gently pushing back the sand to let the water flow into our souls, refreshing and filling us.

The tide of our culture always wants to return and close us off again. The heavy cynicism, the hatefulness, the distractions, the vices and general challenges of life want to erase our open place and return us to the conformity of this world.

Here is the good news, however: in Jesus, the sand of our soul remains ever pliable and the water of grace is always at hand, waiting for even the slightest opening to gush in and slake our thirst.

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

Good News! Christian Primacy is Over

A sermon I heard on a podcast was very helpful to me and I want to share it with you. Good news always wants to be shared.

The preacher - Timothy Keller* of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York City - took the first three chapters of the Book of Daniel as his text. This book tells the story of its namesake and his Hebrew companions as they make their way during exile in the sadistic and dangerous kingdom of Babylon.

Keller’s first point is about displacement. The Hebrew elite have been transported to an alien land where they are surrounded by a polytheistic and hedonistic culture. Where before they lived in Jerusalem in a culture that fully supported their religious belief and practice, they have now been stripped of that external reinforcement. They can choose other gods.

Losing cultural primacy is God’s gift to God’s chosen people, says Keller. The challenge to the faithful is to live in a strange land while refusing assimilation or separatism, to remain faithful to the one true God while praying for the city where they find themselves.

Christianity has lost cultural primacy in North America. Thanks be to God! Like Daniel and his companions we find ourselves between the temptation to fully assimilate - putting our faith in all the other gods our consumer culture offers - and the temptation to withdraw into a religious privatism - where our faith is a private matter with no message for the world around us - on the other. Keller believes, and so do I, that the best possible place for folks who want to follow Christ is to be caught in this tension.

The death of the Sabbath is only one symptom of the change that is underway. Church is only one option among many on any given Sunday morning. Leaf blowers and lawn mowers at the Cricket Club intrude on the peace of our 8 a.m. worship. Motorcycles rev and scream past the church on Sunday morning. The culture has lost all reverence for the sabbath.

And this is Good News! Sabbath worship is set free to be what it is, fully counter-cultural, a practice that contravenes the dominant transactional culture around us. To attend worship means making a choice and paying a price. Because there are other things one could be doing with valuable time, worship is what it was meant to be - a sacrifice.

We make a sacrifice of thanksgiving in worship. We come not just to get something out of the “experience” of worship (a very modern notion). We come because we owe this sacrifice of thanksgiving to our great God who has given us everything. We come because we want to give witness to the world that God is love. We come because we want to support our neighbor who worships with us, adding our prayers and presence to encourage each other in faith. We come not only to get, we come to give back.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector


*Rev. Keller and I do not agree on all things. Even though I have key disagreements I can still learn from him in other areas like the one I share today. I refuse to join the “cancel culture” which reduces every person to the sum of their worst day or worst opinion and then discards everything else they say or do as tainted. We are all sinners and we have all fallen short! The “cancel culture” principle would leave us in a wasteland of condemned and discarded neighbors.

Over My Head

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Swimming in the deep end was a rite of passage in my childhood. When could I swim well enough to slip under the floating line into the deep water where the big kids swam? On that special day when permission was given - when I graduated from the “guppy” swim class to be a “fish” - courage was summoned. Tiptoes pushed off into the mystery of swimming where I could sink twelve feet down. Confidence came from risking it. Comfort slowly followed as anxiety faded in the joy of play.

Moving into the deep end, getting in over my head, happens again and again in life. As a leader, I am not sure I am allowed to admit when I am over my head. But as a faith leader, over my head is just a fact of life. With God we are always in over our head. God is always drawing us into the deeper water of God’s mysterious inner life, so life in faith (i.e. trusting and living in Christ) will always return us to the status of beginner, learner, guppy.

One way I know that St. Martin’s is heading in the right direction is that I feel my competence challenged. I feel like I am in over my head. That is a good indication that we are in the realm of faith. Our Becoming Beloved Community work reminds me all the time that I am a beginner even though I have done anti-racism training for 20+ years. Dismantling the imprint our racist culture has put in my soul and psyche is a startlingly deep task.

In fact, I would like to suggest that the illusion of competence and confidence I carry as my “birthright” as a white male are products of unearned and unreflective privilege. So healing from racism for me will entail acknowledging this, and then risking incompetence and disorientation. Faith draws me into this in the hope that God’s will is to heal me and draw me into a more whole version of myself, stripped of the marks of sin.

Leadership means inviting you to go with me on this uncomfortable and disorientating journey of faith. You won’t be able to look to me for answers because I am in this struggle with you. We can, however, look to each other for goodwill, support, prayer, and compassion as we do some hard learning together.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Editor's Note: 
On Sunday, March 3 at our 9:15 a.m. parish forum is an opportunity for us all to discuss this journey together during "Talking Beloved Community" with our Becoming Beloved Community team. Read more here.

Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

For the beauty of the earth, for the beauty of the skies, 

for the love which from our birth over and around us lies,

Christ our God, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

We know that not everything about Thanksgiving, or everything about this moment in your life may feel like something to be grateful for. Yet, in everything there is something to find thanks for. The sun in the morning. A functioning heating system. The multicolored leaves. God's promises to be with us through whatever our trials. The freedom Jesus offers us in letting go of who we think we should be, in order to simply be Christ's followers, God's children. A community of faith to support us and remind us of who we are in Christ.

As you approach whatever Thanksgiving plans you have - be it dinner with family, friends, or heading to the Thanksgiving feast at this month's SUPPER at Christ Church and St. Michael's on Saturday at 3 p.m. - here are some prayer resources for your day:

A General Thanksgiving
(Book of Common prayer, page 836 - or online at BCPonline.org)

Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have

done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole

creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,

and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for

the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best

efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy

and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures

that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the

truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast

obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying,

through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life

again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and

make him known; and through him, at all times and in all

places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.

A Litany of Thanksgiving
(Book of Common prayer, pages 836-837, or online at BCPonline.org)

Let us give thanks to God our Father for all his gifts so

freely bestowed upon us.

For the beauty and wonder of your creation, in earth and

sky and sea.

We thank you, Lord.

For all that is gracious in the lives of men and women,

revealing the image of Christ,

We thank you, Lord.

For our daily food and drink, our homes and families, and

our friends,

We thank you, Lord.

For minds to think, and hearts to love, and hands to serve,

We thank you, Lord.

For health and strength to work, and leisure to rest and play,

We thank you, Lord.

For the brave and courageous, who are patient in suffering

and faithful in adversity,

We thank you, Lord.

For all valiant seekers after truth, liberty, and justice,

We thank you, Lord.

For the communion of saints, in all times and places,

We thank you, Lord.

Above all, we give you thanks for the great mercies and

promises given to us in Christ Jesus our Lord;

To him be praise and glory, with you, O Father, and the

Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

Additional resources

While these two resources are taken from websites geared toward those who have children in their lives, they are good resources even if you are celebrating among only adults.

42 Bible Verses About Thankfulness

Gratitude Journal Prompts for the Whole Year

For each perfect gift of thine to the world so freely given,

faith and hope and love divine, peace on earth and joy in heaven,

Christ our God, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise.

The pastoral staff at St. Martin's is here for you in both times of gratitude and times of challenge. Please call 215.247.7466 to make an appointment.

God's blessings be with you this Thanksgiving!

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

Wellspring at St. Martin’s has undergone a transformation

Wellspring at St. Martin’s is entering its sixth year with a new approach to its ministry of facilitating soul discovery and spiritual growth in the parish and the community. Under the direction of Coordinator Joanne Conway, a team of St. Martin’s parishioners has been engaged in informational interviews, team formation, and prayerful listening throughout the summer.

The group has clarified the ministry’s mission, focusing on assisting the congregation and broader community in nurturing their spirits and deepening their relationships with God and one another through practices rooted in, or resonant with, the Christian tradition.

Headwaters of the Jordan River

“The exact picture of Wellspring remains an unfolding mystery, one that will take time and a great deal of listening, remaining curious, and being patient,” Conway said last spring as the new team was just forming. “We will be beginning with building our leadership team and exploring. We then will move out into the church community with questions and listening ears and hearts to find how we can best serve.”

What have they discovered in the last several months? One-one-one interviews have revealed a desire for opportunities for ongoing reflection and a hunger for small-group gatherings. Team members have embraced a call to reach into their own spiritual passions and skills to offer programs that speak to local needs.

Wellspring’s fall programming reflects this with a variety of opportunities designed and facilitated by team members. Among them will be a weekly reflection on the Sunday sermons, beginning Sunday, October 28. The discussion will be facilitated by Wellspring team members and will use a process designed to help participants listen to each other and deepen their experience of what they have heard.

Women Connecting

The ministry will also facilitate a prayerful walk in the Wissahickon (Oct. 6), an exploration of contemplative prayer with St. Martin’s Rector Jarrett Kerbel (Oct. 17-31), and a discussion of Frederick Buechner’s book The Hungering Dark (Nov. 8 and Dec. 12). For more details visit StMartinEC.org/wellspring.

Future programming will seek ways to include a wider section of the parish and community, with offerings that speak to children, youth, and families. For updates on events, as well as spiritual reflections and resources, like and follow the Wellspring Facebook page.

Wellspring will continue to offer Women Connecting, a regular gathering of women marked by prayer, silence, and deep listening, inspired by the church seasons. The next gathering is Sept. 15 from 9 to 11:30 a.m. Wellspring will also continue to host area spiritual directors.

The Wellspring Team

In addition to Wellspring Coordinator Joanne Conway, the Wellspring team includes John Hougen, Elizabeth Morrison, Jenny Cardoso, Scott Robinson, Susan Cole and Barbara Dundon. Barbara Ballenger, Associate for Spiritual Formation and Care, will continue to be Wellspring’s staff liaison.

For more information on Wellspring at St. Martin’s contact Joanne Conway at joanneconway86@gmail.com.

From Our Interim Rector: Labor Day

It’s Labor Day weekend. Monday, we’ve got a holiday in honor of our workers. (Yes, St. Martin’s office will be closed on Monday.)

When I lived in Australia, we celebrated Labor Day in March and the old-timers still called it “Eight Hour Day”. They were celebrating that in 1856, their workers had been among the first in the world to win an eight-hour work day. They were lucky the day had such a peaceable origin.

In this country, Labor Day came into being in 1894 after a particularly nasty confrontation between labor and business: the Pullman Company was losing money, so it laid off workers and cut remaining workers’ wages without lowering what it charged them for housing and necessities in the company town. The workers went on strike and refused to work on trains carrying Pullman cars. The strike spread across the country, and involved 250,000 workers. Chaos ensued. President Grover Cleveland sent 16,000 troops to quell the strike. Both sides used violence. By the time it was over, there were thirty dead and $80 million dollars in damages. Six days after the strike ended, the President declared Labor Day a federal holiday. Labor Day was President Cleveland’s attempt to bring peace between labor and business.

We continue today to try to support the interests of both our business community and our labor force. But the more we work at it, the more we discover just how complicated it is. Protecting or increasing the profits of a company enough to make the business a desirable investment may mean cutting jobs. Supporting workers’ rights to fair wages and benefits may cause the company to go out of business or move overseas. It’s complicated!

It’s also messy. I remember a garbage strike in Philadelphia with weeks’ worth of stinking trash piled up in a park near us. At the same time, I recognize how valuable union support has been to members of my family when they were being treated unfairly in the workplace. I have struggled with vestries and non-profit boards to come up with raises the employees both need and deserve, when we are also struggling to keep the buildings functional and the mission vibrant. I know how awful it feels to have to let a valued employee go because there just isn’t enough money to go around. It’s complicated! 

That’s why I like the Episcopal Church’s prayer for Labor Day. It asks God to guide all of us in our confusion:

Almighty God, you have so linked our lives with one another that all we do affects, for good or ill, all other lives: So guide us in the work we do, that we may do it not for self alone, but for the common good; and, as we seek a proper return for our own labor, make us mindful of the rightful aspirations of other workers, and arouse our concern for those who are out of work; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Blessings,
Rev. Phyllis Taylor

From Our Interim Rector: What to Wear on the Streets

Our son graduated from college with a degree in psychology and sociology. He spent a couple of years working with children with problems while he decided whether to go to graduate school. We were fine with that. Then one day he called us from Los Angeles and told us he had decided to join the LAPD. He was enrolling in the academy. We were proud that he wanted to serve, but scared out of our minds. But it was his decision and we supported him. 

He survived the long and grueling course, and we went to LA for his graduation. It was a fine ceremony. We sat with the other proud families on the beautiful grounds of the police academy. The officers were handsome in their dress uniforms. There were fine speeches praising the hard work of the men and women in the class and thanking these new “peace officers” in advance for having the commitment and courage to go out every day to protect the public from the forces of evil. 

After the reception, we went back to our son’s house and he proudly showed us his new working uniform and all his paraphernalia. He laid each item out on the bed for us to admire: his bullet-proof vest, his riot helmet, his riot shield, his guns, his sprays, his batons. It came home to me what he would be facing out there on the streets each day. I was absolutely terrified. “Promise me you’ll wear your vest every day,” I begged him.

And that’s the tone we need to hear in Paul’s voice when he says to the new Christians in Ephesus today, “Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may stand against the wiles of the devil”. He lays out for them the many pieces of spiritual armor they are going to need for their protection: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. He urges them to put on their armor every day, “that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.”

The armor Paul is talking about is not body protection against bullets and bombs. He is talking about soul protection against those forces “which corrupt and destroy the creatures of God”: lies that are easier to accept than to challenge, policies that are just plain wrong, violence that walks all over basic human rights, despair that promises us nothing will change, apathy that convinces us there is nothing we can do, materialism that guarantees the things we get are more important than the kind of people we are.

We can only protect ourselves against these forces with the armor God gives us: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Spirit. 

Paul warns us today, “Be careful out there!” He pleads with us, “Put on the whole armor of God.” Pray God we listen.

Blessings,

Rev. Phyllis Taylor

From Our Interim Rector: Wisdom for Dummies

If you’ve been in a bookstore lately, assuming you can find one, you’ll have noticed how many books there are with “Dummy” in the title. They first came on the market as self-help books for people new to computers who couldn’t understand a word of the manuals. They saved my sanity. Now they provide help on a wide range of subjects.

It says if we want wisdom, we have to start by knowing that we don’t know much. When we hear Wisdom’s servant girls calling out, “Yoo-hoo! Dummies!” we have to say, “That’s me! Here I am! Over here!” We have to admit we are dummies.

I see this week’s lesson from Proverbs as “Wisdom for Dummies.” Wisdom, it says, in the overview, is like a woman who builds a house, sets a table with bread and wine, and goes out into the street to invite all the dummies to come in and eat and drink and talk with her. Then, after they have learned enough to get started, she sends them out to get on with their lives according to what they figured out at the table.

It says wisdom isn’t something that can be packaged in a few verses or rules or slogans. It’s too big for that. People can’t come up and knock on the door of Wisdom’s house and be given a pat answer to take home with them like a trick or treat. They have to come in and sit down and talk through the issues they are struggling with.

It says no one person has all the answers, all the wisdom to tell us what to do. Only God does. Those struggling to find answers must discuss the questions with one another in Wisdom’s house, in the presence of Wisdom. They must listen to Wisdom, let Wisdom lead the discussion, as they talk and listen to one another.

It says that wisdom isn’t just something that lives in our heads and is fed by logic and words. It’s also something that lives in our guts and our souls. Wisdom feeds the seekers bread and wine at her table while they are talking. In the gospel, Jesus says in similar fashion that we gain life by eating his flesh and drinking his blood.

It says that wisdom is not just a bunch of facts we accept, or theories we believe, it’s the way we live our lives. As we say nowadays it’s, “walking the walk, not just talking the talk.” In this passage, Wisdom asks the seekers to, “live and walk in the way of insight.”

It all sounds very Episcopalian to me. It’s what I love about our church. I see the people of St. Martin’s grappling with wisdom this way every day: starting meetings with prayer; humbly sharing and listening to one another; centering our life together in prayer, meditation and the Eucharist; making a real effort to be agents of Christ’s love in the world. I feel wiser every day I’m here, and very grateful.

Blessings,
Rev. Phyllis Taylor

The Practice of Self-Vulnerability

This month is National Blog Posting Month (colloquially referred to as NaBloPoMo) which is a community sustained challenge for professional and personal bloggers to publish one post every day of the month. I've committed to NaBloPoMo on my personal blog for the second year in a row in hopes of tapping into a new level of writing inspiration and motivation. Less than a week into the challenge, I feel like I have instead tapped into new levels of incredulity because I have subjected myself to this challenge again despite the struggles I had last year.

When I first attempted the challenge last year, I assumed that the hardest part would be carving out time every day to devote to writing a blog that I felt was worthy of publishing. While that has certainly been part of my struggle, this year I'm realizing that the actual hardest part is listening. In order to blog successfully and authentically every day, I have to more deliberately listen to what I'm thinking, feeling, and experiencing throughout the day which requires a level of self-vulnerability I didn't anticipate when I decided to take on this challenge.

This unexpected experience is much like what I went through during the Enneagram sessions that Wellspring offered the past two weeks. While I recognized that a certain level of self-work would be necessary to discuss personality types, I didn't expect to have to look that deeply at what motivates some of my most deeply entrenched ways of being. I had mentally prepared myself to be extra attentive to the presenter and to other people in the session but not to myself.

The strange thing that I am learning from the NaBloPoMo challenge along with the Enneagram sessions is that in order to be attentive and even vulnerable with other people I have to be willing to be vulnerable with and attentive to myself. In order to be honest and present with others, I have to practice being fully present with myself.

For me, that means giving myself time to breathe and center myself. It means quietly acknowledging feelings when they arise, even if I’d rather gloss over them. It means praying daily for the patience to be still and listen.

What about you? What does it look like for you to be present with yourself? How do you practice self-vulnerability?

- Angelique Gravely

What's a post about ice cream doing here?

I posted a request to our Facebook page the other day - did anyone have any questions about us, even silly ones? The folks over at DioPA Youth wanted to know how the staff would answer, "The best ice cream flavor in the world is…" So, I took a poll at our staff meeting yesterday. 

The first person to respond was Harriet. "Ben & Jerry's Pistachio," she answered quickly. Carol went next with Bryers' Mint Chocolate Chip - a classic. Jarrett then responded that he was having a hard time deciding but chose Thomas Sweet's Vanilla-Strawberry-Banana Blend-In. Callie chose a local small batch producer/food truck - Zsa's Salted Caramel (a flavor, by the way, that always sells out quickly at the twice-annual Food Truck-a-Thon at my local Co-op in Swarthmore). Connie didn't know the brand of hers, but the flavor for sure - Mocha Chip.  I named Ciao Bella's Key Lime Graham.  It turns out that both Erik and Angelique aren't big ice cream eaters so they had trouble with this. Erik finally named a banana milkshake and Angelique chose simple strawberry.  Just as we were closing out, Jarrett changed his mind. "No, not the blend-in. Change mine to chocolate soft serve from…what's it called...that gross roadside place…" (laughter around the table).

We had a great time talking about our small distraction from regular business. It got me thinking some more about ice cream. A few years ago I embarked upon making my own ice cream. My husband had bought me a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer for a birthday and there was a special deal where it came with a bonus attachment of his choosing. Smart man, he chose for me the ice cream maker attachment.  However, I had let a couple years pass before giving the ice cream making a try. I imagined it would be complicated. I thought I'd try what seemed a simple enough French Vanilla from the accompanying recipe book. The custard base was involved, and though I got through it and even tried again to make a few variations - it was more than I'd bargained for, especially on my own, and the results were only okay.

Then my co-op offered an ice cream making class. I signed up and that's when I met Philadelphia-style ice cream. Much less cooking required. Very simple recipes. Now this was going to be a lot easier! I can do this regularly! And I can play around too!  I was excited to jump in and soon I was even creating my own flavors with my new found methods - Blueberry Buckle ice cream. Strawberry-Basil-Balsamic ice cream. The fantastic thing about Philadelphia-style ice cream is that it starts off with only 3 key ingredients: Cream, sugar, and your flavoring (you add an acid if you're using non-citrus fruit as the flavor). To make Strawberry-Basil-Balsamic, for example, my total list of ingredients was: Fresh strawberries, fresh basil, balsamic vinegar (my acid), sugar and cream. Simple. Fresh. Cold, creamy wonderfulness.

It was a revelation to find that I could do this myself. We're told in so many ways by our current society that we're too dumb to make or do things ourselves. I've become much more interested in making my own food from scratch since reading the following quote by a friend of chef Michael Ruhlman, "Americans are being taught we’re too stupid to cook and it’s simply not true."(from his blog post: America: Too Stupid to Cook).  

It has changed my thinking about food, for sure, but other things too. What else have I been taught is more difficult than it really is? Praying? Reading and understanding the Bible? Talking to others about what I understand things to mean, and what that means for my faith and my life. All of those for sure. 

I have a hard time starting a prayer. Where to begin? Well with ice cream it is cream, sugar, flavor. With prayer, you can start with thanks, confession, and asking (actually, prayer can be even simpler - you could just do one piece to start with!) Reading the Bible? Well, with ice cream I started with a recipe. Take it from the top. Just open it up and start in. Or, even better like I did - find a class. Some other people to read the recipe over with and ask questions, someone else who's done it before to guide the way. Before you know it, you're reading on your own! 

It turns out that it doesn't have to be as hard as it might at first seem. Start off slowly, get your feet under you, and you'll be making ice cream with ease and enjoying an enriched faith life you weren't sure you could have. And you can always move up to custard-style ice creams later when it feels right. ;-)

~ Natalee Hill  

PS: I didn't intend it this way when I came up with my blog post idea, but this post feels like a good plug for our Biblical Studies at St. Martin's. So, I'll just mention that we currently have three sessions running. NO experience with the bible and NO homework is required for any of them. This is your ice cream class!

PPS: Some ice cream recipes to get you started
1: The absolutely most-simple ice cream recipe ever - perfect for kids! (NO maker necessary!)
2: When you're ready to commit to an ice-cream freezing device. (There's a link for how to make it if you don't have the ice cream maker too - it will take longer, but it can be done!)
3: Custard-style for the truly committed. (From Food & Wine Magazine, so it must be good, right?)

Wobbly Walk with God

Stepping Stones by Maria Keays on Flickr

A couple of weeks ago, I was picking up produce from our farm share at our local garden. This weekly ritual - shared with my toddler - often falls in the midst of multiple errands that get squeezed into the post-naptime/pre-dinnertime window on my day off with her. On this particular afternoon, as we were walking through the garden, my daughter asked to walk along the wobbly stones bordering one of the plots. I helped her step up on the first stone and held her hand as we walked along.

At least, that’s what I thought I was doing. I suddenly realized that I was directing her by grasping her elbow tightly and setting the pace. I took a deep breath and made the choice to let my child take the lead. Wouldn’t this be so much more enjoyable, I thought, if I simply trusted her judgment to go at a pace she was comfortable with rather than hurriedly pulling her along?

I realized that my walk with my child was much like my walk with God. When I pray, I often do it on my own schedule and forget to stop and listen in the process. I come to God with certain expectations in mind and find it difficult to have the patience necessary to make space for the Spirit. To trust God to take the lead.

Why am I always trying to call the shots, to take the reins? When I let my daughter set our pace that afternoon, I had to let go of a few things. I had to let go of my sense of urgency and my sense of security. Slowing down meant that we wouldn’t get our vegetables as quickly and be on to the next errand on our list. Loosening my grip meant allowing for the possibility that my child would trip and fall.

But I also allowed for something else: joy. Our weekly ritual had become a task rather than an opportunity to be in nature together, exploring the world. My toddler helped remind me how to breathe and take it all in.

How can we slow down and relinquish control, not just in our relationship with others but in our relationship with God? How can we let the moment happen rather than making it happen?  How do we leave room to be surprised by joy?

- The Rev. Callie Swanlund