Finding Faith in a Netflix Binge

What does Buster Bluth have to do with faith?

Tony Hale is a successful comic actor, producer, and writer. You may know Tony from his laugh-out-loud characters Buster Bluth in "Arrested Development" and Gary in "Veep". He is also delightfully forthright about his faith in Jesus Christ. During a routinely secular interview on television, podcasts, or radio he will cheerfully share about how he depends on God.  

In one interview, I heard Tony refer to the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ from Galatians 5:22-23; “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” To his skeptical interviewer, the actor simply and gently said, “Well, I am working on one or two of those things every day. His ways are higher than my ways and that is why I need Him in my life.”

Tony says one of his favorite moments in church comes in the five minutes before the service begins. After he sits in a pew with his family, as he enjoys the quiet, he slowly scans the congregation. Sitting in the midst of a community of faith, he says, gives him an incredible feeling of support. Tony, like all of us, needs to know he is not alone as a student and follower of Jesus. One gift his fellow worshippers give him is the sure knowledge that he is not alone.

How many of us think about what we give to our neighbor when we worship and not just what it means to us? Gathering on the sabbath is a way to support each other as we seek the nurturing grace, trust, and courage we need to follow the Way of Love. When we pass the peace, when we welcome each other, when we seek out new hands to shake and names to learn, we are building the flesh and muscle of the body of Christ through relationship and through support for our neighbors.  

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

All things come from Thee, O Lord

The word "Debts" is typed in black onto a sheet of white paper.
A pencil is eraser, above right has been erasing the word, leaving it visible,
but fading.

“All things come from Thee, O Lord, and of thine own have we given Thee.”

These are the traditional words said by the priest when receiving and giving thanks for the Sunday offering. We do not use them at St. Martin's, but they echo in my head every time the gifts of the assembly come forward.

At worship.together, the children pass small wicker bread baskets for the collection. The stuffed baskets come up to our little altar and every Sunday I experiment with what to say. Inevitably, what I say is a version of “All things come from Thee, O Lord….” because it is the most essential truth, and that is what we share with children and adults.

For me, it is very simple. What do I owe to God? I owe everything to God. There is no me without God. There are no gifts in life without God. There is no opportunity to serve and to offer and join in life-saving, life-giving mission without God. So I owe God everything.

In abundant divine mercy and generosity, God only asks for a tenth of all I have. Imagine being presented with a bill for 100% of your net worth and then having the debt collector scratch out 90% of what you owe, indicating that 10% will cover the whole debt. Imagine the relief and gratitude and joy. Our generous and generative God gives us all we are and all we have and only asks for a tribute of 10% to further God’s work in return.

As much as we might strain to make an alternative algorithm for our response to God’s abundance, the math only works in one way. I might assert that, I deserve, I am owed, I am entitled, I have earned, I have achieved, but when all is gift and all is God’s we stop calculating and start giving back with gratitude and freedom secured by God’s promises.

Now, many who are addressed by God’s grace and love discern a calling to give even more back to God. Some give their whole life. They are the saints, martyrs, missionaries, monks and nuns, and lay-religious who express their dedication to God in total devotion of life to God’s purposes. We need to keep them in mind. Do we imagine our life as one of growth in commitment and dedication in response to God’s generosity?

Stewardship is a moment for self-examination. To whom is our life oriented? Have we grown in grace this past year? Have we de-centered our life-focus from ego to love for God and neighbor? Are we growing in the love that values the good of all others on the same level as our own good and that of our families?

I wish you a rich and rewarding and happy self-examination. May it be inspired by God’s generosity and return to God that same abundance.

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

The Church of the Undomesticated Jesus Christ

Who will lead the sacrifice?

Which organized body of people have something to teach the world about sacrifice?

What community of people is spiritually equipped and resourced to lead lives of sacrificial, redeeming love?

What does the world desperately need in an age of global climate catastrophe but to learn how to sacrifice for the health and future of the whole?

The Church of the undomesticated Jesus Christ is what the world needs now.

Why do I say, ‘undomesticated’? Because much of American Christianity is the domesticated sort; warped by our individualist, competitive consumer culture to sanctify the desires and behaviors cultivated by mass culture. Domesticated Christianity teaches us to conform to the dominant narrative and to feel justified in our wealth, greed, overweening pride, and grasping, defensive self-interest.

The undomesticated Jesus Christ shared the Beatitudes with his followers (Luke 6:20-31): “Blessed are the poor...blessed are you when people hate you, exclude you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man...woe to the rich…woe to the full, etc.” Jesus is turning the culturally compromised religion of his time on its head. He is challenging the assumption that a faithful life results in prosperity. He is directly challenging the notion that conventional goodness is rewarded by God with material blessing.

Blessed are those who make sacrifices for the sake of discipleship. Blessed are we who respond to the security and favor bestowed on us freely by God with lives that demonstrate who and what we really trust.

Slowing, and possibly reversing, the global climate crisis will require sacrifice. My wife and I are having a serious and unhappy conversation about major changes to our future travel plans. Airplanes are huge contributors to global warming and I feel called to radically restrict my airline travel as a sacrifice for planetary health. I love to travel and I especially love to travel with my wife. In retirement we had planned to see the world together. When we sacrifice we give up something we love for a greater good. In faith, we know God will provide consolation.

“Even if you do suffer for doing what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear, and do not be intimidated, but in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord.” - 1 Peter 3:14-15

So I will be poor in air travel. God will bless me and others in that poverty. This is the type of life the undomesticated Jesus Christ invites and supports. I know that I struggle against persistent feelings of entitlement, as in, “I deserve just as much tourism as anyone else,” or, “I have worked hard my whole life, so I get the reward of travel now.” The deeper sacrifice is letting go of entitlement - living life in the spirit of what is owed to us, what we demand from life - and the air travel, that is merely a symptom.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Luke 6:20-31
Jesus looked up at his disciples and said:


“Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
“Blessed are you who are hungry now,
for you will be filled.
“Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
“Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven; for that is what their ancestors did to the prophets."
"But woe to you who are rich,
for you have received your consolation.
"Woe to you who are full now,
for you will be hungry.
"Woe to you who are laughing now,
for you will mourn and weep.
"Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets.

"But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Scripture text from the Revised Common Lectionary readings for All Saints' Day, November 1 available at https://www.lectionarypage.net. The Bible translation used is The New Revised Standard Version.

Restore SNAP

"Feed the hungry" is one of the clearest calls to people of faith in scripture. It is also the basis of one of St. Martin's three major community engagement priorities. SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) plays a vital role in feeding America's children.

Below is an article we have shared on social media that outlines new proposals that could seriously affect how families qualify for food assistance, and how children specifically are affected in regards to free and reduced school breakfast and lunch costs. 

We are lucky here in the Philadelphia Public School District that ALL students currently receive free breakfast & lunch- however, this proposal could also affect how schools qualify based on the needs of their population.

The USDA has reopened the public comment period for this proposal until NOVEMBER 1st, 2019 (that's next Friday). We have a short time to make our concerns known. Please read through this article & consider your position. If you feel moved to do so, please leave a comment with the USDA.

Read the PBS news article on this subject:

PBS article

Visit the USDA comment page to leave your comment electronically.

USDA Comment page

Below is a form letter that you can use or adjust as you see fit, to send along to the USDA either on the comment page above, or by mail, before the end of their comment period on November 1, 2019. We have copies of this letter at St. Martin's in the Parish House lobby that you can sign and send on Sunday morning as well.

Mr. Stephen L. Censky

Deputy Secretary USDA

Office of Policy Support

Food and Nutrition Service USDA

3101 Park Center Dr.

Alexandria, VA 22302

Dear Mr. Censky,

As a person of faith, I am writing to oppose the proposed rule change to SNAP that will take benefits away from hundreds of thousands of citizens and cause suffering to children in under-resourced schools. The proposed rule (ID: FNS-2018-0037-16542) will gut broad-based categorical eligibility, take away free school lunches from hundreds of thousands of children, and create a benefit cliff for families already struggling with poverty-level incomes.  

I am asking for the USDA to retain the current categorical eligibility standards for broad-based eligibility in the SNAP program. SNAP is the most effective program we have for combating hunger and supplementing income for marginal households while supporting neighborhood groceries and American agriculture.  

Food security is a basic human right and our faith traditions teach that care for the hungry is a primary obligation for any just society. Please reject this rule change for the good of our most vulnerable citizens and take a stand for the moral decency of our republic.

Sincerely,

(Name) 

(Address)

Sincere Faith

Image description: On a bright teal blue background, which appears to be painted and
weathered concrete, there are a series of wooden blocks with letters and numbers
carved out of each one. The sizes, shapes, and colors of the wood and the fonts of
the characters vary. In the center, five blocks are positioned together to spell the word, 'faith.'

For the last few weeks, our Epistle reading came from the Second Letter to Timothy. The goal of the author is to encourage and strengthen the faltering faith of a local house church leader named Timothy. His faith is wilting under the assault of shame, public embarrassment that his mentor - the Apostle Paul - is a jailbird, and his Lord - Jesus Christ - suffered the shameful death of a criminal and rebel. Timothy finds himself in an unpopular and scorned minority accused of harboring absurd and even seditious ideas.

We need to read this letter as if it is addressed to us. Many of us are ashamed of our faith. We are loathe to mention our allegiance to Jesus Christ in polite company. We are afraid that friends and strangers will judge us dimwitted, or worse, as fellow travelers of the negative expressions of popular Christianity which flood the media with bile and hatefulness. To stand out and stand up for an alternative expression of faith that is thoughtful, gentle, inclusive, and inviting would be a terrific gift to country riven by extremes.

As Episcopalians we have prided ourselves on a thoughtful, gentle, and questioning faith. I hope we see this identity as a gift and learn to emphasize the word “faith” as much as we emphasize the word “questioning.” Our Presiding Bishop, Michael Curry, is certainly challenging us in that direction and I find his challenge both refreshing and disorienting. The challenge to own my faith in Jesus Christ is disorienting for me because I was raised in liberal Christianity, ashamed of my faith and trained to see myself as the sole authority who judges tradition and scripture against my own conclusions and ideas about reality. I find it refreshing because, in reality, I am much healthier and happier when I scede authority over my life to my faithful guide and steadfast savior, Jesus Christ.

C.S. Lewis said, “Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” While we will always be a church of curiosity, searching, and welcome for folks wherever they are on their journey of faith, we also, by necessity must be a place where the Gospel is shared with confidence in all of its illuminating and life-saving power. The most powerful way to do that is to share our story and to be sincere in our expressions of faith.

One danger of living in a distracted, fractured, and accelerated culture is that lonely people of faith will become rigid and defensive in our minority position. Scared and anxious that we are losing ground, and at risk of losing a faith and an institution we adore, we retrench and resist by staking out rigid positions, lines in the sand. Our faith inspires a more nuanced reaction. We are challenged to become more clear and focused on our mission and the good news we have to share. At the same time, that good news is gentle, welcoming, and full of loving kindness. If not, we have a real loss to mourn.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Of Dumpsters and Stewardship

Image: photo of the cluttered inside of a closet space. Boxes and baskets
and bags are piled on top of each other. Text in image: "We can look at the
inevitable entropy and clutter in church closets and basements
as signs of inertia and neglect, or we can see them as a sign that the church
has been so busy in ministry, so busy putting first things first,
that cleaning up after ourselves falls out of mind."- The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Of Dumpsters and Stewardship, 10.17. 2019

Among my earliest church memories is helping my mother clean out the Sunday School closet at my home church in New Brunswick, NJ. Mom was the new volunteer leader of Sunday School and the first task was to clean up, put the rooms in order, and even paint a wall-sized mural of Noah’s ark in the room for the youngest grade. The giraffes carried umbrellas!

That closet was full of detritus from the previous 50 years. There were crayon fragments and chalk nubs from the 1930s. There were pamphlets extolling thrift and the donation of metal for the war effort in the 1940s. Rolled up and molded felt banners, popsicle sticks galore, and an endless supply of lapel pins for every church activity imaginable. 

To me this was utterly fascinating; the archeology of an active church ministry spanning the 20th century. We can look at the inevitable entropy and clutter in church closets and basements as signs of inertia and neglect, or we can see them as a sign that the church has been so busy in ministry, so busy putting first things first, that cleaning up after ourselves falls out of mind. 

St. Martin’s is incredibly active and abundant in meaningful and impactful ministry to such a degree that we forget some forms of stewardship needed to make that work thrive. Every plant needs to have the soil tended to grow to its potential. Every worker needs a lunch break to refuel and relax if afternoon work is to be productive. Every Christian needs Sabbath on Sunday to turn to God and revive our souls so we may live in grace in all we do. 

We are stewards of our own wellbeing; physical, spiritual, relational, and emotional. While the call of Jesus Christ can pull us out of balance at any moment for service to the Kingdom of God, Jesus is also the one who heals and restores our balance and well being for a ministry that requires endurance, persistence, sweat, tears, and sacrifice.

St. Martin’s is here for the long dure; we are here for the long run work of God’s steadfast love. To be here for the long term means we steward our abundant gifts for witness, ministry, and results with multiple generations in mind. We clean out closets and basements to make room and free up space for future ministry. We give generously to underwrite our transformational ministry for years to come.

Please join us for Dumpster Days (see below). I guarantee the church will feel like it is levitating this Sunday after we pitch so much ballast overboard. Be sure to join in on St. Martin’s Day as well and bring your pledge card!

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

Dumpster Days October 18 and 19
The properties committee invites members of all ages to help us clean out the basements, crawl spaces, closets, and attics of St. Martin’s! Over our 130 years we have accumulated lots of junk. In preparation for planned repairs and improvements to the property, we need to get a clean, well organized facility! Please come to the church from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday, October 18 or during the same hours on Saturday, the 19th! For more information talk to the rector, Carol Horne Penn, our properties chair (ckjj616@gmail.com), or Debra (debradroberts@comcast.net) or Ike (ikeroberts@comcast.net) Roberts.

Infinite God

“Christian faith claims that the eternal truth and wisdom of God spoke most completely in a single human life and death…. To receive his truth is neither to acquire a theory about the universe nor to escape from time into a reconciled eternity, but to embrace the struggle to be faithful to within the limits of being a creature with a body and a biography. So, in this context, not even God becomes an object that will satisfy my longing and my incompleteness. I must learn in this life to accept the fact that hunger and restlessness are part of what I am made for. To love God is not to acquire the biggest and best gratification of all but to have my whole experience of love transfigured. Instead of the manic struggle to fill the gap in my heart, which leads me to the exploitation and domination (manipulation) of others and of my whole world, I acknowledge that I am never going to feel cosily at one with myself, all desires gratified; my longing opens out on the horizon of the infinite God."

- Former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams

Exhausting Our Lord

Text in graphic: This Week in the Rector's Note: Exhausting our Lord. 10.3.2019.
Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Episcopal
"Jesus must find me exhausting."
Graphic: Photograph of a statue of a woman, possibly Mary the Mother of God,
with her head down and resting on her left hand, with fingers curled under.
The stone statue appears to be attached to a stone building - there are bare tree
branches in the distance in the top right of the image. the stone is considerably
covered with moss on the top of the veiled head and the hand.

Jesus must find me exhausting.
This thought occurred to me while at prayer during my vacation. Here I was listing off all my needs, sharing my sorrows and hurts, praying for my long list of friends and family in need, and begging for guidance, serenity, wisdom, courage, and every other virtue I lack, when I suddenly had tremendous sympathy for Jesus! What would it be like to be bombarded by this catalogue of woes daily by millions of people?

My instant reflex was to mutter an apology to Jesus for bothering him so much. Recognizing my neurotic guilt, I had a good laugh at myself and my stinking thinking and then - by God’s grace - I returned to awe and admiration for Jesus. How much love does it take to have enough love for everyone? I struggle to be adequately loving day in and day out to my little family of four. We are talking about a whole other scale of love here.

That is a huge relief for me and, I hope, for you. While I want always to grow in love as God’s grace nurtures me into “the full stature of Christ,” I need to admit that the world is too big and too demanding for even the highest capacity my loving will ever reach. What the world needs is the love of Jesus direct from him. The best I can do is to hopefully give folks a glimpse of that surpassing, all encompassing love in fragmentary form.
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” sang Burt Bacharach and he was so right. What we realize as we age and grow in wisdom through the crucible of marriage, parenting, family life, community life, friendship, and work is that we need a source of love beyond ourselves if we are going to do our part of that loving.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

Stop Hiding, Open Up those Boxes

Image: A pale wood box with a gold clasp sits slightly open, with the opening of the box turned 20-30 degrees to the left.
Text in graphic: This Week in the Rector's Note "We are all wounded. Self-awareness, honesty, and trusting community help us turn our wounds into gifts of wisdom, sensitivity, and compassion. ...Again and again in pastoral caregiving at St. Martin’s I encounter wonderful people who are adding suffering to their suffering because they think they are the only one struggling in the community." - Stop Hiding, Open Up those Boxes. 9.26.2019. Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, Episcopal.

A journalist asked Brad Pitt the following question during an interview about his upcoming movie, “Was Ad Astra a way to work through some of the loneliness you may have been experiencing?” His answer was vulnerable and revealing, “The fact is, we all carry pain, grief, and loss,” he said. “We spend most of our time hiding it, but it’s there, it’s in you. So you open up those boxes.”

The article then gives the back story which I quote at length:

It was reported that the final straw in Pitt’s 11-year relationship with (Angelina) Jolie came in September 2016, when they fought about his drinking while aboard a private plane. Now, Pitt is committed to his sobriety. “I had taken things as far as I could take it, so I removed my drinking privileges,” he told me. After she filed for divorce, Pitt spent a year and a half in Alcoholics Anonymous. 

His recovery group was composed entirely of men, and Pitt was moved by their vulnerability. “You had all these men sitting around being open and honest in a way I have never heard,” Pitt said. “It was this safe space where there was little judgment, and therefore little judgment of yourself.” 

Astonishingly, no one from the group sold Pitt’s stories to the tabloids. The men trusted one another, and in that trust, he found catharsis. “It was actually really freeing just to expose the ugly sides of yourself,” he said. “There’s great value in that.”

I am grateful for the brave honesty Brad Pitt displays in this interview. My hope is that his example helped hundreds, maybe thousands of people, come out of hiding and into spaces transparency, trust, healing, and growth.

“We all carry pain, grief, and loss.” We are all wounded. Self-awareness, honesty, and trusting community help us turn our wounds into gifts of wisdom, sensitivity, and compassion. Hiding, avoiding, and denying cause wounds to fester into self-destructive behaviors and acting out which passes the harm to others. God’s grace transforms our despair over our wounds into hope for progress and growth into a “new creation.”

Again and again in pastoral caregiving at St. Martin’s I encounter wonderful people who are adding suffering to their suffering because they think they are the only one struggling in the community. They tell me that they feel that “everyone else” must “have it all together;” “have it all figured out,” or “have it easy.” When we only present ourselves as happy, high achieving, successful, and winning - that is, when we only share one side of our life - without knowing it we may be increasing the isolation of someone who is struggling. One of the most helpful things we can say to someone is, “You are not alone.”

I want St. Martin’s to be a community of love, acceptance, and grace where people feel free to come out of hiding and find the healing we all crave. Our church is called to be this way because Jesus was this way, and he continues to give us what we need to brave the journey into honesty and vulnerability.

In God’s presence there is no hiding, no deception, no masks, and no facade. As the Prayer Book says so beautifully, God is the one, “unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid.” We are transparent before God’s pervasive light and all encompassing love.

Blessings,
The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel
Rector

+++++

If you'd like to know more about addiction and recovery, please join us at Parish Forum on Sunday, October 6 where Steele Stevens will lead a discussion on Understanding Addictions. Learn more on our Parish Forum page.

1619-1919: Finding Ourselves in the History of Racism

Editor's Note: This week's post is written by the Rev. Barbara Ballenger. She has helped to lead St. Martin's Becoming Beloved Community work since 2014.

St. Martin’s efforts at Becoming Beloved Community follow the lead of the Episcopal Church in its church-wide call for racial reconciliation and healing. It is part of the church’s deep reflection on its own complicity in the long legacy of racial oppression. This call is rooted in the scriptures and the Baptismal Covenant, which invite us to a new level of respect for the dignity of every human being that fundamentally challenges and displaces racism.

In August, The New York Times reminded us of a sobering anniversary, the 400th year that the first enslaved Africans were brought to Virginia, anticipating four centuries of race-based oppression in the United States. For Episcopalians, whose Anglican forebears built, blessed, and benefited from the architecture of slavery and its aftermath, this legacy clings to us in ways typical of deep structural sin: fostering social blindness and deafness to the experience of people of color; quieting the Gospel of Jesus and amplifying the agendas of scientific and economic advancement; and centering whiteness in everything from our religious imagery to our church structure. That is why the Episcopal Church has been leading us in a wide-scale effort of racial repentance, reconciliation, and healing. Our Presiding Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Michael Curry, explains this ongoing work well in this brief video.

St. Martin’s has been at the effort for a while, most recently laying out a framework to be even more intentional about how we learn, embody, and advocate racial justice and healing. This 400th anniversary does put the work in a long and painful perspective, however, and it invites us anew to take a hard look at how we engage with our own individual and collective history around racism, and how we participate in healing the racial wounds in the Body of Christ.

This program year, St. Martin’s will offer several opportunities to engage in the ongoing work of Becoming Beloved Community. I encourage you to make time to participate, bringing your insights and stories to the effort.

Here is a look at what lies ahead:

• Sunday, Sept. 29 Parish Forum (9:15 a.m.) – Finding Ourselves in the 400 Years: What the Spirit is Saying to the Church about its Legacy of Racism. Featuring a short film by Katrina Brown and a discussion of local racial history by diocesan historian, David Contosta.
• Wednesdays, Oct. 9-Nov. 6 (7 p.m. to 9 p.m.) Beginning Beloved Community Workshop. This five-week series, developed in 2015 and 2016 by St. Martin's parishioners and staff, provides an introduction to the individual and collective work of racial understanding and healing central to our Becoming Beloved Community efforts. Recommended for all parishioners and ministry leaders. Learn more and register here.
• Wednesdays, Jan. 8 -29, (7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.) Wellspring-led discussion of the book, Waking Up White, by Debby Irving. The author writes: "My hope is that by sharing my sometimes cringe-worthy struggle to understand racism and racial tensions, I offer a fresh perspective on bias, stereotypes, manners, and tolerance."

In addition to these educational offerings, committees of parishioners and staff will continue to follow the recommendations of our Becoming Beloved Community Strategic Plan, by working on the following this year:

• Developing a process for recruiting, hiring, and retaining people of color onto our program staff.
• Creating a training process for parish ministry leaders to build leadership skills grounded in racial justice and healing. This will be developed this year, and formally launched during the 2020-21 program year.
• Strengthening our public witness against racial injustices in our community, led by our Community Engagement Committee.
• Engaging all our parish committees and outreaches in the work of Becoming Beloved Community.

The Becoming Beloved Community effort at St. Martin’s is overseen by the Vestry, the clergy, and the Becoming Beloved Community Team, a committee of parishioners whose mission is to support the implementation of the BBC Strategic Plan. It is led by Justina Barrett, The Rev. Carol Duncan and The Rev. Barbara Ballenger.

To learn more about the parish’s Becoming Beloved Community efforts and find resources for engagement, visit the racial justice page under Community Engagement at StMartinEC.org.

Blessings,
The Rev. Barbara Ballenger
Associate for Spiritual Formation & Care

Timber, Awe, and Wonder

"...the awe and wonder come from a deep intuition of the sacred gift of the tree."
Photo taken in the woods. There is bright green ground cover. One tall, thick,
moss-covered tree stands in the foreground, lit from the back and right side
by the sun rising through the trees at a distance to the right. The photo is
awash in the greens and pale yellows of spring or early summer.

On vacation I care for a small forest in the Maine woods. My idea of a perfect vacation day is forestry in the morning and books in a hammock in the afternoon. My favorite tool is my Stihl MS 271 chainsaw, 50cc’s of throbbing, purring power for felling and processing trees destined for our wood stove.  

Holding a chainsaw calms me. The growl of the engine muffled through ear protection, the vibrations running up through my hands and arms, the smell of fresh, tart sawdust kicking off the chain onto my jeans - focus my scattered mind and engulf me into the moment.  

When an 80 foot tree that is two-and-a-half feet thick is almost fully severed and just on the edge of toppling, time freezes and my ears perk up for the cracking of wood that presages the fall. Will it go the direction I intend or will it totter toward me? The thrill is electric and the shout of, “Timber!” is part relief and part triumph when its massive bulk plummets away from me.  

The tree thunders to the ground and strikes the earth like a massive drumstick on a bass drum. “Wump” is part noise and part feeling in my feet. My response is awe and wonder. I am not impressed by the act of felling the tree. No, the awe and wonder come from a deep intuition of the sacred gift of the tree.

For one hundred years or more that tree was growing and processing sunlight, rain, and soil into a massive stalk of wood fiber and generation after generations of leaves and seeds. From a sapling it developed into a tower of grace and beauty that sheltered the birds and squirrels and insects. The storms it witnessed. The winter weight of snow it bore. The stories if could tell.  

Sacred. The sacred gift calls out a prayer. The sacred gift calls out awe and wonder and in turn the prayer and these feelings change forever how we walk on the earth. Because we know she is sacred.

Blessings,

The Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

Rector

Guatemala Reflection: Part 2 - We are a Family

By Barbara Thomson

This is part two of Barbara’s reflection on the youth pilgrimage to Guatemala this July, on which she was one of the three adult leaders. If you missed it, you can read part one, "Witness", here.

My family grew as I attended this year’s visit to Guatemala. Being a St. Martin’s member has already grown my family to include the other adults and St. Martin’s youth. This year it grew to include the Guatemalan families that our group of 11 (plus 3 - our driver, guide, and interpreter) met as we plowed through the Highlands from churches to homes and missions in our packed red van.  

Our wonderful translator, Melvin. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel

It takes a leap of faith to be an adult leader on these youth trips – especially one who gets on board at the last minute! I have chaperoned twice to South Dakota, but I was asked just a few weeks before this trip to join and didn’t fully realize all of what I’d be getting in to! We know before we leave where we’re going and what we’ll be doing, and we trust that we will get along while we’re there. As soon as we go through security, the magic of being in a family – my new family –  kicked in. We were not the traditional household of parents and children, but rather a group of people with certain roles who watch out for, take care of, and love each other during our time together and thereafter. 

Photo of the youth at the chocolate factory. From Clare's camera.

Our group started every day with breakfast, piled into the van, took on a new experience, sat down for lunch, took on another experience, sat down for dinner, and ended with compline. We quickly knew who positioned for the window seat, who carried the soccer balls, and who loved fancy coffee and pink drinks. At the end of the day, we all asked God to “Keep watch with those who work or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep…”

Compline by flashlight. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel.

Ground transportation in San Lucas. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel.

Kate balancing a tub. Photo by Gavin.

While our youth group became a family as we walked through security at the airport, we met our extended St. Martin’s family as we walked into their churches and homes, and then played soccer. (We found that our St. Martin’s kids were better prepared for their cold showers after a hot and sweaty soccer workout.) With each new family we met, each new story we heard, these people became family to us. We were welcomed into homes and churches where they fed us, taught us, and shared time and company. 

Guatemalan church family. Photo by Gavin.

Youth with a Guatemalan family. Photo by Clare.

Hospitality. Photo by Clare.

Playing fútbol. Photo by Clare.

At the end of the day, we would talk about and try to understand what we saw, felt, and learned that day. Every day someone talked about how he or she was touched by the children’s love for learning, communicating despite language gaps, how welcome they felt at the homes and churches we visited, the care from our guide, driver, and interpreter, and the gap in wealth. We also spent time thanking our St. Martin’s kids for showing so much appreciation and respect to the families they met. We were proud of them and appreciate their individual contributions.

Home visit near Chichicastenango in Sepela. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel.

Dinner with the Bishop of Guatemala. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel.

Within our own group, we took care of each other. There were moments of concern as some were overwhelmed with emotion and some had digestive issues. When asked to help get the sick ones packed up so we could get the group to Antigua, they helped out without flinching and the sick ones were given preferential treatment for the 2 hour ride. When we arrived back in Miami, the first ones at baggage claim collected all the bags and had them waiting for the rest of us as we made our way through Customs. 

Kate holding a baby. Photo by Clare.

The St. Martin’s folks and the Guatemalan folks became a group of people with certain roles who watched out for, took care of, and loved each other during our time together. I’ve also found that the love doesn’t end. We may not see each other regularly but our care for one another lives on so that when we see someone, like Leslie who we recognize from a story from years past, we make sure she gets her new glasses. We are connected. We are a family.

We're on a boat! Photo by Gavin.

The family returns home. Photo by the Rev. Jarrett Kerbel.

Guatemala Reflection: Part 1 - Witness

By Barbara Thomson

This is part one of Barbara’s reflection on the youth pilgrimage to Guatemala this July, on which she was one of the three adult leaders.

Rooftops, Mountain, Sky in Guatemala. Photo by Gavin.

Honestly, I was not totally prepared for what we experienced in Guatemala. 

As we traveled to different places, such as Xela to Pachoj or ChiChi or San Lucas Toliman, we shared what we were going to see, who we were going to meet, and what we were going to do. Just as you prepare yourself and/or your children for new experiences, the adults tried to prepare the youths for the people and environment they were going to encounter. It was often head-spinning to hear:

They will be living in a place that looks like a shack to us. The whole family lives in one room. There is no indoor running water. There is no bathroom. There are no windows. They use wood to cook in their stoves and heat their homes.

Kids typically leave school around 6th grade so they can work and earn money for the family. One family recently got a solar panel and has electricity that allows them to work later into the night to embroider their piece-work garments. There’s no school bus. The families can’t afford school supplies such as notebooks and uniforms without our help. The families depend on us at St. Martin’s to send their kids to school.

For those over 18, you will meet women in the prison and see many children. Their children live there with them until they are 4 years old. The women cook for themselves in the prison kitchen. Their families and Father Roberto bring them food. They wash their clothes by hand.  

The Mission started out with Father Greg who saw malnourished children over 50 years ago and it has grown to a thriving school, coffee coop, women’s center, and hospital. 

Father Stan Rother was an American martyr who was killed at his church during the 30-year Civil War.

I especially related to the education and medical issues. As a mother and wife, these are my primary concerns for my family. I could feel how hard and what a hardship it was for children to go to school. Many of the families can’t help their children with their schoolwork because the families don’t speak, read or write in Spanish. They speak K’iche’, their native Mayan language that is mostly spoken. The parents may not be able to read or write because they didn’t go to school. Education is not an expectation for everybody. It is only for those who can afford it. 

This is true for healthcare, too. There is no government assisted healthcare. Emergency rooms exist for those who can pay for them. And when someone has no money, it means no ibuprofen, no antibiotics, no allergy or asthma medicine, no well visits, no eyeglasses, no high blood pressure medicine, no chemotherapy, no x-rays, no anesthesia for delivering babies, and no dialysis. Simple afflictions that we take care of with doctor visits or trips to our medicine cabinets in our bathrooms, could potentially be life threatening.  If you need special surgery, you wait until a group of surgeons comes to the mission hospital and hope you get operated on during the week they’re in town that year. Birth control is not discussed although many girls have babies in their teens and it is not uncommon for someone to have 10 children. 

We arrived at their churches, missions, and homes and we were welcomed with open hearts, food to eat, and gifts. They all made us a special meal. The women taught us to make tortillas. We heard about the difference St. Martin’s has made in their lives. We heard from the young adults who were children a few years ago talking about getting jobs in schools and teaching the next generation or becoming bookkeepers and earning more money for their families. One scholarship student is now at the University and wants to be the President of Guatemala. We met the young boys who are being raised by their grandparents because their parents abandoned them to work in Guatemala City but were not heard from again. We heard from a family living with HIV and luckily receiving medicine because of St. Martin’s support. 

Making Tortillas. Photo by Clare.

We met the women who run the chocolate coop. We were told that we were visiting a chocolate factory. Upon arrival we learned that the chocolate factory consisted of a room with a wood burning stove and a small table. The women make the chocolate at home and sell it door to door or in the market. They divide up the money at their meetings and each person receives her share of the money in a Ziploc bag with her name on it. In these better homes, they have stoves with flues, which helps to minimize the smoke from the wood they burn. Otherwise, they cook over open fires.

As we traveled over mountains, around hairpin turns, over Lake Atitlan and between cities, and walked through the cornfields to their homes, we learned about our long-standing relationships with the people we couldn’t necessarily identify before our trip. We met Leslie and her family. Leslie was the recipient of an eye exam and eyeglasses in 2014 because some St. Martin’s youths discovered her condition kept her from going to school. She was wearing her glasses when we met her we recognized it is time for a check-up. Unfortunately, Leslie still does not attend school because she was so far behind when she got her glasses, but we are providing for new glasses and some books to help her learn to read. Leslie speaks some Spanish but is most comfortable speaking K’iche’. We are also sending various inexpensive over the counter reading glasses to the women who work late into the night on their piecework.

Over and over we heard the families explain the huge impact St. Martin’s has made on their lives. The children love to go to school and the parents appreciate it. The older ones are now working in professions thanks to their scholarships. And after we all talked, the American and Guatemalan kids would play soccer together. They’d divide into teams, run after the ball, make some goals, laugh and cheer, cry foul sometimes, and keep going until they got the nod from the adults that it is time to go to our next thing.  

My family grew as I attended this year’s visit to Guatemala. Being a St. Martin’s member has already grown my family to include the other adults and St. Martin’s youth. This year it grew to include the Guatemalan families that our group met as we plowed through the Highlands from churches to homes and missions in our packed red van. 

Watch next week for part two of Barbara’s reflection on Guatemala, "We are a Family".